If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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