it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize