Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
