i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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