i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
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