I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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