Porn is love you can see.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
