Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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