you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
