Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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