i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize