dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Randomize
