And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
