We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Is it because I queefed?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
