i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
