just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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