i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
