I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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