Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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