Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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