I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Someone shattered a urinal.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Randomize
