btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
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