Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
