I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Randomize
