I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I'm like, not good at living.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize