K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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