The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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