i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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