hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
