1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Randomize
