dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
