There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
