dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
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Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
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My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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