one two three fourrrrnication!
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
