my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
