You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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