You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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