i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
