Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize
