pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
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Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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