i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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