For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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