defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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