Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize