The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
