i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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