Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
