exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Randomize
