who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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