If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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