She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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