YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
