I got chris browned last night
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
