bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
