apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
that is very illegal...i love you.
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