did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
