were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
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I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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