I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
My ass is underappreciated
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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