the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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