the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Semen is not good for contacts.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
