Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
foreskin is a definite game changer
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Randomize
