I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
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He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
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If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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