Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
