this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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