And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
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He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
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We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize